Modern Horrors [Seras/Open]

[Damian Grímur]

Damian grinned as he wrapped his arm around his girlfriend and took in the sites of the circus. It was a carnival completely run by vampires and were-creatures. Seras was more beautiful then any of the vampires in the circus any day of the week and the were/vamp couple was getting some looks - but no one said or did anything so far. "What ride do you want to go on next, Babe?" he asked as he held all the tickets in his hand that had cost a bundle. They could go on however many rides they wanted or see which shows they wanted as many times as they could!

Brieftly Damian locked eyes on a young were who was nearly the spitting image of his kept lover Rhi. But Rhi had moved out so that it was just Damian and Seras. It was good while it lasted and he moved on to Seras easily enough. Damian was on his second turkey leg and was in the process of gobbling it down. It still took some getting used to but Damian accepted Seras for what she was. He knew his father would be completely outraged at him. But Damian thought that he really, really liked Seras a lot. She had issues. But so did he. Who didn't?

He was also shocked but perhaps a bit happy that he might be a father on his own terms with a woman he chose that had no pack status standing. Seras had somehow gotten pregnant with him - they sure had had sex enough times. He kissed her pregnant belly every time he was alone with her. Damian wasn't sure that a were/vampire combination was even possible which was why he warned Seras to keep things hush-hush. He slid a hand into her pocket. He was dressed in jeans that looked like they had been put through hell but he had just ripped off the price tag a few hours ago, a cool light blue button down shirt and expensive Michael Jordan shoes - which he probably would not bother wearing again because he wasn't really liking them.

[seras alcaste]

Her arms wrapped around Damian's strong bicep, Seras walked along happily beside her lover. They had been together for a while now, of how many days or weeks the vampire couldnt be certain as she was always in such an emotional bliss. She hadnt slept a wink since the were-tiger finally changed his mind and accepted her as his own. Often times she'd found herself simply watching him sleep, with the most goregeous smile across her lips. Onlookers could realize, she was absolutely infatuated with the man, and on the outside they looked like a brilliant couple. 

In a recent week, Seras had really began to feel strange within herself, her body changing a bit. Although any girl could surmise a pregnancy, Seras wasnt convinced. Even though she would love a child with her man, the complications that would arise from their different species would surely tear her heart apart. Perhaps her body would miscarry? She couldnt be so sure, but it had been more than a few weeks and she still didnt appear to be showing all that much at all. It worried her. She'd never quite asked if Damian in fact wanted a child, but he seemed happy enough with the prospect. If she were in fact pregnant and began to show even more, and he became disgusted, Seras would surely take matters into her own hands. The thought tore her apart, but at the same time she couldnt help herself. The girl was very afraid. She didnt know how to be a mother, she didnt ever want to burden her master, and most of all Seras despised herself being a vampire and dreaded the thought of passing it on to a child. 

Thinking about it all, Seras held a hand toher tummy, and just for an instant the girl wore an absolutely tormented look on her face. It was horribly depressive, the likes of which nobody had ever laid eyes on since she'd been accepted by her master Damian. However, the look soon vanished with a smile. Leaning her head against Damian's shoulder, she walked steadily alongside him without a peep out of her. Surely Damian ought to have noticed by now, but his lady never talked out of line. Unless he spoke to her first she wouldnt dare bother him with her nonsense. She was never rude, and did anything and everything he'd ask of her no questions asked. Since theyd been living together Seras was also something of a maid. The dhampir would always do every chore in the house by herself before even being asked, she would cook for him, get him set up for showers when he wanted. Seras was content being his housekeeper, his maid, his lover, everything. At times she even felt like his personal call girl or sex slave, but to feel wanted by him pleased her unimaginably. 

As they walked along the circus, seras eventually pointed towards a tiger's cage that was kept back behind the others and gently led Damian to it. She wouldnt dare leave his side or let his arm go. 
The dhampir approached the cage slowly, but there was absolutely no fear in her eyes. Only a severe saddened look. 

"hello there, sir." she spoke softly to the majestic white tiger, getting its attention. The animal glared at her, his fur rising a bit, a frightening growl on the afternoon air. Still, the vampiress didnt even flinch. Not even as the animal made its way towards her. Seras held out a hand to Damian, telling him to stop where he was and that everything was alright as the tiger growled again with a meanacing roar. Seras smiled. "You're a beautiful boy"  Somehow, the tiger obviously wasnt part of any main attraction, for being grouchy amongst people, but by looks alone he was a magnificent creature. 
Seras did the unthinkable and stuck her arm into the cage, much to the animals dislike. She stroked his fur gently, until finally the tiger bit her arm hard. Seras didnt move a muscle. The tiger growled lightly as her arm was still in its mouth. "Shhh, its alright now boy. Everything is alright. You were just scared... I know. I know you're a good boy... You're alright, don't be afraid..." Seras cooed, petting him with her free arm. Even as blood ran down her pale skin, she wasnt even crying and still cared for the tiger, talkin to him as if he were a were creature. But somehow, her soothing voice was calming it. Already there were no growls. The dhampir stared deep into his eyes and wore a beautiful smile. She continued to glide her slender fingers through his fur. "everything will be right and dandy, i promise... You're alright boy. Theres nothing to be afraid of..." before their eyes the tiger's temperament began to shift. He was no longer snarling and soon let her arm drop out of his mouth. Being a vampire it of course had swiftly begun to heal, but the tiger licked at Seras wounds, his ears down and an ashamed look in his eyes. Seras reached back into the cage and rubbed behind the animal's ears, the tiger almost purring at her touch. "you see? Everything is alright. You're such a good, beautiful boy arent you?" Seras had somehow won the animal's trust and he seemed a much less frightened and angsty animal. She took a few steps back and smiled bright. The tiger extended a paw out of his cage with a soft whine as the dhampir went to leave. With a light chuckle, Seras turned back and held the animal's large paw in her dainty hands. "Aww, its alright boy. I'll come see you again before we leave, i promise. You'll be just fine." It licked her once across the cheek. "awe you're such a good boy." 

With that, seras waved a small goodbye and put her arms around Damian's strong arm again. She had an accomplished and wonderful look across her pretty face. There was no hint of fright or pain. Her arm had already healed just fine. "I love you, sir" she leaned up to whisper in Damian's ear, hoping he wasnt mad for her little show. In truth, the girl herself hadnt known she was exceptional with animals, but that tiger she felt had been calling out to her with his sad demeanor. Even though he wasnt on display and a sign read "dont approach, dangerous animal" seras changed everything. 

Seras tried hard to fight the thoughts, as she didnt want to admit that the pain the tiger had brought upon her excited her a bit. Of course when it was enough anguish her body would indeed register it, but never as pain. But instead as intense pleasure. It made her want to make love to her man. Since he'd taken her in, seras had become something of a sex maniac. She felt it was the only way she could convey her love and devotion and emotional bond to her man. Seras would even beg for him to use her when forcing herself onto him like a nympho wasnt working. In her mind, everything else she did to take care of him was required of her at least, because he took her into his home. Even on days when she felt ill due to carrying, she wouldnt dare let her man know. She wouldnt dare slack in the chores. Everyday and everynight, only resting when Damian needed her for something or when he wanted to spend time with her. But lately Seras found herself making mistakes, or dropping things. With every instance the dhampir was beyond apologetic, always a deathly frightened look in her eyes. Once she'd dropped a plate, holding her tummy, but immediately did her best to shrug it all off and cleaned the shards up with her bare hands despite being cut. After dripping blood onto the floor, the girl had proceeded to scrub the entire kitchen floor with bleach until her hands burned.

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[Damian Grímur]

Damian was walking with Seras attached to him at the hip. He felt the looks of married men on him, glaring with their eyes at Seras. It wasn't humanly possible for someone to look so good but there Seras was, proving it was possible. Damian already had a huge ego and having Seras on his arm tripled it. He had beautiful women on his arms lots of times at the same times, but combined they weren't half as good looking as his girlfriend - his soon to be mother of his child. In a way Damian was kind of strangely pleased. One wouldn't think he would be so happy since female were-tigers have been trying since he was fourteen to get pregnant with his rare gold tiger gene. But now that he had finally gotten a woman pregnant he was sort of relieved. It might be nice to have a mini-Damian running about.

The sights and sounds of the circus were amazing. They reminded Damian of the circus of his hometown. Everything was slightly the same yet everything seemed amazing. Each tent seemed to hold some amazing act. There were smaller shows done by the children of the performers on various paths. He followed Seras lead and could smell him before he saw him. There was a white tiger in a cage. They surely shouldn't be in this part of the area but Seras stuck her hand in the cage before he could drag her out or stop her.

This wasn't a movie where the tiger decided it would lick her and say 'thank you for showing me mercy' but instead the tiger did what all tigers do - it clamped its sharp man eating teeth on the slender vampire's wrist and bit down. Blood poured from the wounds. Damian was too shocked to react. He could feel his own tiger growl from his throat. But before he let it loose Seras made friends with the tiger.

"I love you, Seras. But tigers are dangerous!" He was worried if not for Seras' health but the child that she now carried. He didn't like her cleaning. He had a full time maid and cook but had dismissed the cook because Seras liked to cook for him. He hadn't asked but thought that she missed food and enjoyed cooking. She was also cleaning so much that the maid he hired didn't have to do anything but lightly clean over what Seras had done.

He knew that since she had lost blood she needed some. He leaned his neck towards her...

[seras alcaste]

Seras walked along cheefully beside her master, her boyfriend and beloved savior. To the weary vampiress, she now had someone to want her alive and well, someone to live for. It gave her purpose, happiness.

"Aww, its alright. He's a good boy, Sir. He was just frightened is all. " the dhampir chuckled a bit under her breath, her lips parted just enough to show a pair of pearl fangs. It had been quite some time since her last drink and surely the dhampir was lacking in blood and weak willed now. As Damian leaned his head and exposed his neck to her, Seras smiled but looked away to avoid any interest. In truth, she hadnt bitten him once since theyve been together, nor would she admit to having drank her own blood in secret. 

They continued along, Seras as cheery as ever still, but her eyes were blood red now. She held a hand gently on her tummy. After hearing her man's thoughts, albeit barely, there was a strange sad look in Seras's eyes. The dhampir wanted to do anything and everything to keep her man happy with her, but she was very much frightened. She feared greatly for a still birth or a miscarriage, finding it strange how a vampire could even get pregnant from a weretiger. To a much lesser extent, she herself didnt want children for fear of passing her disease on.

"i love you, sir." Seras whispered lightly, holding his arm still and her free hand still touching her tummy. It was evident the prospect bothered her somehow, but the truth lasted but a moment before her happy visage took over. There before them was a cotton candy vendor. Seras had only ever had it once in her life and her inner child grew very much excited, watching the pink puffs of candy being twirled onto paper cones, but didnt dare speak even a peep. She could never ask damian for anything.

"What would you like to do next, Sir?" Seras questioned. Truthfully, it had been over a week since she'd drank any blood, and even longer since she's eaten anything real. Every meal the girl had prepared for damian since was a rather one sided affair. Perhaps vampires werent ever hungry, save for blood, but she always denied herself. 
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[Damian Grímur]

Once again Seras refused to drink from Damian. Before he was terrified at the thought of a vampire's fangs in him. Lord knew that his father would be beyond pissed off as he was Clan Leader in Romania. But the more Seras denied him, the more he wanted it. What did it feel like to be bitten by fangs he wondered? What would it feel like to be bitten by her? Damian moved his neck back, slightly annoyed for being brushed off. He didn't know what Seras ate or how. His manners dictated that he didn't ask but whenever there was a chance she needed blood, he offered. Seras seemed so private and easily broken he didn't want to upset her, and now not even more in her delicate condition.

"How about I win you a prize?" he asked as he led her towards a game where he put his pride on the line. It would be humiliating if he lost in front of Seras. He paid the carnie a five spot for three balls. He had to put one ball in one of those cups for a prize. He missed the ball on the first try, throwing it too off to the side. On the second try he made it before the ball bounced out of the cup. Annoyed, Damian growled angrily at the carnie giving him his meaniest and most intimidating glare. His eyes narrowed as the carnie picked up the ball, tripped, stood up and placed it back into the cup and asked, "what prize would the lady like?"

Damian looked at Seras. "What prize would you like, Dearest?" he asked as he let Seras choose the prize. He grabbed her arm while she held onto the prize and passed another carnie two tickets so they could enter the large tent. He led Seras to two seats in the middle row. "Do you want anything?" he obligatory asked her as he spied several vendors going up and down the aisles with carnival food.

[seras alcaste]

Seras knew she annoyed her Damian whenever she would refuse a drink. This wasnt the first time, and it killed her to disobey her master, but so long as it was merely anoffer and not an order from him, she refused to hurt him. Just the idea of biting into his neck would make her heart skip a beat, her throat grow dry, her eyes become a deep crimson.  The dhampir did her best to control her anxious trembling while she held onto him.

When Damian won her a prize, Seras wanted to squeal like a child and jump and hug him tight. But instead she opted to not embarrass her master and took his arm and kissed his cheek instead. She held tight onto the giant stuffed white tiger as they went into a large tent. 

The vampiress knew she ought to be on her best behavior, always, as everyone would stare at Damian and her. They were a couple people werent used to seeing. So perfect, at least on the surface, and Seras was beyond beautiful. Men and women alike ogled at her every chance they got. Men used to even touch her, or stalk her, but now with Damian around those things had stopped. It left a certain warped part of her heart feeling empty. Damian would use her for his pleasures, which Seras adored, but he had never taken out his frustrations on her. If he'd had a terrible day, he never came home and beat her. Physical harm was something she'd been so used to, it made her feel awkward without it. Her life had been so troubled, she felt terrible that she couldnt help Damian with being his "punching bag". Men in her past life had always beaten her, cut her with knives, and anything else to harm her, but it only ever made her feel wanted and pleasured. 

The dhampir sat politely beside her master and didnt speak a word out of line until he'd asked about food. "No thank you, Sir. Im not hungry." she smiled a smile that could melt any mans heart. "but thank you for asking, Damian, Sir."

Even just at the mention of food, Seras'mind of course jumped to the thought of feeding. She shook her head lightly, closing her eyes and taking a slow steady breath. Truthfully, it was killing the vampire in her to not know what her lover tasted like, to never have bitten him. But Seras remembered vividly how things turned out for the last true gentleman in her life. Biting was strictly forbidden in her mind. Sure she'd bitten herself plenty, but between her sheer need of anyblood at all, and her mind craving physical pain, it was expected. Damian didnt know, but she had even gotten to the point of slicing herself with a knife, only to always watch it heal leaving no scar that would be visible to the human eye. If her skin didnt heal like so, Seras would be atrocious to look upon, as if the poor thing had been through a blender. 
But lately, since her body began to change to accomodate a baby, Seras did her best to not bring it any harm. It made her hurt inside to know she was bringing another monster into the world, never viewing her kind as anything positive, but Seras could hear Damian's thoughts. She knew he wanted this baby, and so she kept quiet, a smile always on her face when he was looking. But she hated herself for having violent thoughts against his baby, against herself. Everyday she was in the kitchen preparing her master food, with a knife in hand, all the girl wanted to do was plundge the blade into her stomach repeatedly. Now more than ever. If Damian could ever hear her thoughts like she read his, he would surely be as disgusted with Seras as she was with herself. But on the outside, Seras played a very lovely girlfriend who was the most beautiful girl in town. Of course, her image was important to Damian and so Seras' outfits, makeup, and hair were always goregeous. She wouldnt dare embarrass her lover. And when people stared, it helped to take her mind off things. It made her feel happy to hear so many random peoples' thoughts talking about her.

Seras held her stuffed tiger with a smile on her face. "Well, now your child has its first toy to play with," a thought slipped out of Seras' lips. For a brief moment there was a terrified look in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir" she apologized for talking out of line, hoping he wouldnt catch on to the fact that she considered herself so enslaved that even a child inside her was strictly his. She would do her best to take care of it for him, but would never believe she'd have the right for any influence over it. Seras prayed her cute english accent and her pretty smile would be enough for Damian to disregard what she'd said and not think about it. She grew terrified, but another side of her got excited. If he grew upset with her, would he beat her? Would he hurt her like she was so accustomed to? A part of her hoped for it. In the back of her mind she scolded herself for contemplating about how far she would have to go in order to change Damian into a horrible man that would hurt her. Seras knew that would be beyond selfish, but also that she would love him no matter what. Despicable men were all she knew in her life, it was what she was accustomed to, and it was becoming more and more difficult for her to keep relying on herself for pain. She longed for Damian to mistreat her in brutal ways, and was tired of hiding the fact that she'd been filling the missing pieces in her life herself. What Damian didnt know is that Seras did leave his house from time to time, albeit in secret. She even kept paying for her own flat. But since she never had the time to clean it, always rushing straight home to Damian's after a shower, her flat had since been what looked like the scene of a brutal multiple murder. There were bloodstains everywhere. Even some dried puddles on the floor. Seras would come here time and time again to torture herself. But by the time she left, her wounds would be clean and healed perfectly. Nobody ever suspected a thing.

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[Damian Grímur]

Damian smiled at the comment about the first toy, not taking anything more into the meaning. "I'll buy him, or her, whatever they want. Their own carousel even!" with the birth of a child Damian's trust would also open up in full. Meaning all the money would be his. He had long awaited this moment and soon it would happen. He just had to be a little patient. He kissed Seras on the cheek. He wrapped his arm around her as people in the audience filled up the seats.

With bursts of mist the performers appeared on the stage. By the look of them they were were-snakes, which slithered upon the stage. They transformed into humans. The change was fascinating to watch. Something eight or so pounds turned into a hundred and twenty pounds. Women were dancing with snakes wrapped around them, the white tiger that they had seen earlier was being led from the back as it wrapped itself around the woman with the snakes. Damian knew instantly that she was a were-tiger. He gulped, not wanting to meet another were-tiger. He had left to America where there were none. Apparently his 'disease' had traveled quite far.

"I wonder what she's going to do with the tiger." he asked politely.

[seras alcaste]

Sitting patiently beside her lover, Seras had a convincing smile across her perfect lips as she almost let a small sigh escape. There were all sorts of thoughts going through her mind, most of which were other' she desperately attempted not to hear.

"that tiger..." she whispered amidst thought, realizing it was the same magnificent creature from before. In that moment, the tiger looked up at Seras during its act and the two met eyes. She almost wanted to reach out to the tiger, but being obedient to her master Seras did no such thing.

The dhampir's ears twitched abit as she realized it was was Damian's thoughts she was listening in on, not something he was actually saying aloud. "Its alright, Sir" Seras put a hand on his, comforting her lover. "he doesnt mean any harm" The vampiress had such a soft, comforting voice as she cooed her words to Damian with an angelic voice. It wasnt enough that she could hear peoples thoughts, the girl's voice could sway any man to listen to her every whim. She knew he was beginning to feel uneasy, and all the loving mother of his child wanted was for the were tigers to not have an altercation. 

Holding his hand tighter now, Seras rested her free touch on her tummy, which began to leave her feeling a bit ill. Nonetheless, Seras ignored it better than the average lady and did everything so as to not inconvenience her Damian. In her warped mind, it didnt matter that the child was every bit hers as it was his. As far as she felt, it was all Damian's, she was just who would go through the trouble of childbirth. Seras would be proud to burden herself for uim at any chance she got. 

"I love you.... " she whispered. Seras still felt as scared as could be. She despised herself more and more with each waking moment knowing she was to bear a child, to bring a  baby into the world and to force it to be a monster forever just because of what one of its parents are. She didnt know what to do except obey her master. 

A vendor was walking past them selling cotton candy when the dhampir realized she hadnt eaten in weeks save for her own blood. She wondered if Damian would force her to take better care of herself for the sake of his baby. Seras was pretrified at the thought of him being upset with her.
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[Damian Grímur]

"It's not the tiger I'm worried about. It's that woman. She's a tiger. And she could make trouble for me." He ignored Seras' I love You. He couldn't help but think of all the problems that female tiger could cause for him if she knew that he was a) a tiger and b) a rare golden tiger. Hopefully he smelled too much like a vampire with Seras sitting so near him. Plus the stench in the crowd was unbelievable. A mixture of many colognes, perfumes, sweat, animals, food odors. She could tell maybe there was another tiger, but definitely not who it was.

"Do you want something to drink?" Damian asked and without waiting for her reply purchased some blood in O and A flavor. He knew Seras liked to eat her meals in private but she had to have some blood if not for her but for the baby's sake! Damian opened the bag of A blood for Seras, handed it to her and looked at her expectantly. "There's no need to be embarrassed. Plenty of vampires are drinking blood in person. Think of our baby!" Damian said. He got himself some cotton candy to try and fight the strong odors of blood next to him.

[seras alcaste]

Seras sat beside her lover quietly, feeling hurt because he never seemed to reciprocate her affection. Still, the timid girl brushed it off and blamed herself. A soft sigh managed to escape her lips.

Meanwhile, the dhampir's eyes were fixed on the were tiger out in the show. Sure her friend the white tiger was brilliant but this other creature bothered her. She didnt know what would happen if the weretiger were to realize her Damian were one also, but a strange jealousy began to boil inside her. 

When Damian bought her blood packs and told her to drink, it bothered her greatly. She took the pouch from him and sat staring at it for quite a long time until finally she began to cry softly. Not loud enough to attract attention but enough for anyone to visibly see she was very stressed and upset. Her hands were shaking, her eyes grew red and he fangs were poking her lips. By all means Seras did her best to fight the urges. She wanted to give damian a child because it was what he wanted but since he didnt seem to return his affection lately she was growing more and more strong willed to not listen to him. Although she would scold herself every time for doing so. 

"Its alright , Sir. Your baby and I arent hungry at the moment." Seras had such a convincing smile. "But thank you very much. "

Seras left the open pouch in the cupholder beside her, and put the one that was still unopened into her purse. Perhaps she would drink later, but Seras knew she would more than likely end up just throwng it out. 

With a fluff of her hair and a brilliant glimmer in her eyes, the halfbreed  continued to keep her eyes on the weretiger before them. A strange bit of animosity was amongst the couple. 

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[Damian Grímur]

"Okay," Damian said as he turned and saw Seras' tears only glancing at her from the smell of the tears. He looked away quickly wondering why she was crying. He had forgotten all about the reason Seras' needed to drink - which was because she had lost a lot of blood when the Tiger mauled her - and contemplated on his nervousness about the female were - Tiger finding out that he was a tiger.

"Don't cry, what's wrong?" he asked as he wraped his arm around Seras' and took a bite out of the cotton candy before using it to hid his face from anyone on the main floor that might wish to look at them - which of course no one really would bother since they were just two faces in a crowd of many. He didn't think much of Seras' crying and just thought it was related to 'hormones' with her being pregnant. He silently passed her a to-go-package of tissues.

[seras alcaste]

Seras sighed deeply and closed her eyes, clenching her fists until her knuckles were more white than her already porcelain skin.  In her mind, she felt a great deal of confusion and resentment, but how could she possibly convey any of it to her lover? Especially since she still was firmly convinced that he lived day to day and never shared the strong feelings the dhampir had for him. There were times Seras could swear she still caught scarce thoughts amongst Damian's mind that suggested he disliked her vampire side. How could she ever come to make it known that surely their child would be something of a mutt. A true monster in a world were either of their kind could be frowned upon. 

"Its nothing, Sir." Seras was ever so swell at telling such a white lie. "Thank you for these..." 

For the past week or so at least, Seras noted her tummy felt strange along with other occurences throughout her body.  She knew she was carrying a child, or at least trying to. Wether her body would hold one was something only time would tell. But the dhampir never could appreciate how it confused her senses.  She was also very scared and hated herself even more day to day. How could she allow herself to bring such a monster into the world? How could she live with herself knowing it was her fault her lover's child would be despised more than herself by society. But more than anything, she'd long since realized it was only because Damian wanted a child that she might consider making it to birth. Otherwise, her disgust was growing more and more tormenting to her psyche. Seras was already still hurting herself and depriving her vampire body of blood. Child or not, the dhampir had been this way for many years. It wouldnt change so easily. Realizing this too caused emotional distress for her. Seras was constantly fighting herself. 

"I'm sorry... I love you sir..." Seras scolded herself for saying so. "But... Its something you can probably never quite understand, yes? I... I think, when a vampire longs for someone... Its more than when just a human does it... I can feel it... In my body. In my mind. I crave you... I always have,  Sir. Im sorry..." she bowed her head in shame. "you shan't have to feel the same. At all. I'll be alright... I promise I'll be good and yours. Please keep me for however long you like." 

Of course the way she spoke, so obejectively of herself, it made no notions towards the fact that she is to be the mother of his child. In her mind, she felt in the same position as perhaps others in Damian's life. A breeder, but nothing more. Nothing special. In which regards, she felt an incredible resentment towards the entire situation. She felt ugly just thinking about growing a large tummy, about giving birth to a mixed breed. 

"I do hope... Your child will be beautiful enough for you." Seras commented, again not realizing she made it quite clear she didn't feel a connection with their baby in the making.  "Im terribly sorry I had gotten pregnant with your child, Sir." 

The dhampir stared blankly ahead at the crowd. Her eyes were rather dull. Thankfully, since she'd been concentrating on how horrible she was, Seras forgot how thirsty for blood she was. 

"Please... Don't forgive me... But your child... Is already a monster because of me.... Im terribly sorry..." 

Seras was desperate. She was close to begging Damian to mistreat her like she was so used to in life, but wouldnt dare embarrass him in public. Daydreaming of him hitting her and such had become something of a regular passtime for the deranged halfbreed. But she now just bit her tongue hard for speaking out of line. This had been but one of few times since theyd been together that her thoughts escaped her without him first asking for them. 

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[Damian Grímur]

If it was a cartoon Damian's jaw would drop to the ground. He was absolutely shocked. His mouth was open and a fly could fly in. The cotton candy matted against the floor and instantly took a flat shape on half of its side. "Seras', what do you mean by this?" he asked in a hushed whisper trying not to draw the attention of others who were busy cheering and looking on to the performance in great amusement. "Our child is NOT a MONSTER" he hissed. It was easy to know now that he was angry.

"Is it just a language barrier? I know that English is my third language. What do you mean when you say things like "sorry and such. Our child is NOT a monster. Never say that again!" He was almost tempted to be uncivil and swear. He stomped on the cotton candy and stormed out of the aisle, easily gliding over people's book bags, strollers folded under chairs yet partly sticking out, coke bottles and the likes. He walked up the stairs and out of the tent.

How could Seras be saying such things? To be honest he didn't understand her half the time because Romanian was his first language, English his third - though he did manage to make his accent go away. He assumed he hadn't been hearing right, or sometimes to be honest he wasn't listening at all, but when he was listening he just assumed that because she spoke Queen's English and he spoke English he thought things were different.

[seras alcaste]

The dhampir sat in her chair quietly, a timid look across her face. Listening to Damian's tone of voice, she could not even bring herself to look at her master but knew instantly that he was upset and confused and downright furious with her. No, she knew even before he brought his anger to his lips. Between her mind reading and incredible ability to sense people's emotions, the hatred and angst in him was so fearce it frightened her immensly. Although, at that thought, there was almost a smile in her eyes. Deep down, the girl knew that if she pushed her buttons right, anger lead to hate, and often even before then it would already have led to her being beaten. That excited the most deranged reaches of her mind.

"Im terribly sorry sir.. Master Damian... But your child... Its father's a beautiful man... And... The other half... Is a monster..." Seras spoke her truth softly, unsure if Damian had caught any of it prior to rushing out of the tent. She never once did dare refer to herself as the mother of her master's child. Despite a great part of her wishing to utilize the situation for her own pleasure, Seras had true feelings of resentment for the entire situation. 

Seras had only been pregnant once in her life prior, but it was not a moment in her life that she kindly remembers. Upon arriving in the united states there had been an abducter of hers, whom even after returning her to her home had frequented her services against the dhampir's will. But when she became pregnant, the man had brutalized her in every concievable way in order to dismiss any such chance for bearing a child. It worked, leaving Seras with nothing more than a thread of life to hold onto. Had it not been for her vampiric healing, the girl would never have made it. Subsequently, her love of pain grew exponentially when at the time, Seras had just merely been experimenting with it. 

Seras didnt know wether to follow after Damian or not, but against her usual judgement the girl followed her master obediently. The fear of god was instilled in her after  having caught even the slightest glimpse of the ferocity in Damian's eyes, but her love of what it could bring brought her outside the tent. 

Seras put a hand as a visor over her eyes to help her look about, but she didnt see Damian anywhere in the immediate  area. The dhampir managed to venture out of a similar side entrance and was now a short distance from him. She could sense his presence, but barely and that frightened her. Seras began to grow increasingly destraught. So much so that she couldnt even muster the voice to call out her master's name. Like all the others whom had used her for fun and could not even offer enough physical pain to satisfy her, Seras began to feel as though Damian, too, had abandoned her.  

Being left behind was something the dhampir was used to by now in her life, but it was a feeling a teenage girl never quite felt right with. 

Seras felt lightheaded and began to slowly stumble further back behind the grand tent, hoping for some shade. Her emotions as well as hormones were very out of character, even for her, and thus the sudden transition from within the darkness of the tent to the light of day harmed her. The pale, perfectly porcelain skin all over her frail body began to take on a more pinkish hue as her body grew more and more heated with the midday sun. Without sleep or rest, even indoors during the daylight hours, her body was reacting much like a full blooded vampire in the sunlight. Shielding her eyes and almost enjoying the pain, Seras cowered in the shade of a nearby awning. 

A short while later, Seras stepped out from the shade and almost immediately there was a faint spell that nearly won the best of her. The halfbreed had so much colour in her skin now that onlookers may even have thought her a normal human being. But her fatigue garnered some much unwanted attention. When a passerby saw her and asked if she were alright, Seras must have been a sight! Her fangs had been exposed and the crimson in her eyes startled the sumeritan. She was greatly upset and took her desheveled self down the nearest alley between two tents and fell on her behind. 

"You're such a disgusting, horrible girl, Seras! Look at you! No wonder he left you! That boy couldnt get away from you soon enough!"  Seras scolded herself , bringing her knees to her chest and laying her face down. There were tears of blood running down her cheeks. Even the air around her seemed as though it were being chilled with despair. "You can't love anyone, silly! Don't be foolish, Seras. No one on this earth would possibly want you." her deep state of depression began to get a strong hold on her. "Damian despises you. He always bloody well has! You and I have heard him a dozen times think ill of me. And for what? Just because I'm a vampire he can point fingers and hate us both? What a wanker!"

"Master isnt a Wanker!" Seras had red tears filling her eyes and now running over her knees and down her thighs as she spoke with her other self, the vampire half. "And he cares for me. He loves me..."

"Love? YOU? Oh you can't be serious! Havn't you heard his thoughts about you? Cant you tell how he feels when the boy catches us staring at his neck? Seras, don't kid yourself now. He knows we want to feed off him."

"He... He does know, doesn't he?" Seras quivered. "Damian can't love a monster. He's a beautiful tiger. Master won't ever feel the way I do."

"Oh you poor little girl. This Damian, he probably never had cared for you in the first place.  I'm all you have, Seras."

There was a strange sence of solace to know that no matter how much self hatred she harbored, or whomever wronged her, the vampire in her would still never leave her. Most days, Seras despised it all. But at the moment, it was the only bit of comfort she could find, no matter how slight, as the dhampir slipped futher and further into an utmost depression. 

Had she not been nearly afire, Seras' skin would have been colder than death. Blood began to pour out of her eyes profusely. Seras never realized, however, that the more she succumbed to her depression, the easier it was for the vampire within her to take over. Of course, the inner monster always knew this. But in a last ditch effort to calm the vampire inside, Seras let herself go and offered herself to it. She began to wipe the blood off her cheeks and lick her palms dry, again and again, craving more and more as her own blood was less than satisfying. Seras used what little self control she had left in her to keep the fiend from attacking others, but in the secluded alleyway she was the only one that could bring it anything at all. And with the bustling of a circus all around, surely nobody would notice. Seras didnt even hesitate as she bit into her wrist deep, biting hard until her long fangs nearly stabbed through. The blood rushed down her throat, its dull, cold flavour not quenching her enough. Over and over again, the vampire bit herself, ravaging her arm, but still her taste was unsatisfying. Seras took her right wrist in her mouth next and bit down. There was a slight pop followed by a soft crunching. Her hand went numb and the bones began to give under the pressure of a monster's bite. 
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[Damian Grímur]

Damian was furious. He bummed a cigarette off of a man smoking and took deep breaths of the toxic air. Smoking was bad for a human's health but he did it from time to time. It was nice to smoke, the only un-nice thing was the smell. It could stay in his hair and clothes and then transfer to his car and then his nice expensive apartment which Seras kept so clean. He snorted in anger, she was probably crying her eyes out while everyone else was trying to watch the show. She did that most times, cried randomly, and he was without words to stop her.

As he smoked he thought that maybe this was his fault. Damian was disturbed by being raped by were-tigers but he was used to it, it was his culture. Seras, she was deeply disturbed, more so then him and maybe he realized that he had been ignoring all the signs like her never wanting to drink blood in public even when all vampires did that in dark glasses and black straws. There were other things too, little things like what she said and how she said it. Like she'd scamper away like a cockroach. She was just so fragile and Damian always broke fragile things.

He ignored the urge to look for Seras. He wasn't going to apologize to her! Even though he probably should. Instead he turned his attention to one of the circus workers dressed skimpily. He realized that she was offering him a good time. He turned to look to the worker who he bummed a cigarette off but realized that he was gone and had been gone for a few minutes. "How much?" Damian asked as he examined the goods and then followed the woman back to her trailer.